He’s behind you!!!!!
So the panto has begun!!!! Oh no it hasn’t oh yes it has…………… oh just shut up!!!!!
I am appearing (not starring I hasten to add) in Jack and the Beanstalk at the Connaught theatre in Worthing this year, it is the 3rd pantomime I have appeared in in as many years and I’ve got to tell you it is a strange little world to live in for a month or so, but more on that later.
December or the last 3 anyway prove a tricky month for me, in fact scrap that tricky isn’t the right word, it is damn right tough. I know before you all start shouting at me that I am very blessed to the job I do at Heart and am very grateful for the doors it opens for me, doors like the one’s at the Connaught theatre but getting up at 4.10am everyday to do a radio show & then 2 panto’s before trying to get home and help with 2 under 4’s that need feeding, bathing & entertaining is hard man, long days and long long nights. Thank God I have a supportive and pretty bloody amazing wife!!
It is a tough month for me that cannot be argued however at the same time it is also great fun and as I mentioned at the start of this blog a very strange little existence……… very very strange indeed!!!!
Where else during your working day could you find yourself at around midday standing in front of a 8 foot Jodie Marsh lookalike with gut ache who’s got the hump because someone called Jack who keeps singing Miley Cyrus songs is trying to nick a harp that talks and a bird that has stuff coming out of it’s arse you would actually like to get your hands on. All while trying to convince my friend who has a daughter only 2 years younger than him that he shouldn’t cop off with a 6 foot woman called Ian otherwise he will have a stepson called Simon who is so stupid he makes Joey Essex look like Stephen Hawking & inherit a cow that can dance while crapping milk already in a bottle. At the same time as all of that I’m trying to escape from a bloke called fleshy who is plainly in love with said Jodie Marsh lookalike and avoid being grabbed by the balls by doing the only thing I can think of & singing the theme tune from a well known 80’s film. Did I mention that whilst this is all going on we are all relying on one of our most beloved TV personalities to not only get us home safely but also to remember our big sign off line at the end of the show!!!!! (I love you Charlie) I told you it was WEIRD!!!!!! Still the Princess is fit so if it all gets too much I just gawp at her for a few minutes & it pulls me through.
It is a truly strange existence & I haven’t even started on the kind of weirdness that goes on backstage, the other day I saw a fully grown man trying to seduce a light switch!!! TRUE!!!!!
Come and see the show if you get a chance this year, I truly believe it will be as much fun to watch as it is to be in, you’ll love it.
Being serious for a second I must say the best thing about doing this by far is the people, I have always loved meeting new people, learning about lives so different from mine and hearing stories of how they ended up backstage covered in make up, glitter and in some cases wearing Teats.
The cast & crew and everyone involved in this show are kind, funny……….. Lovely.
Thank you Allan, Janine, Tony, Darren, Ian, Charlie, Henry, Geoff, Marc, Nathan, Chris and of course my boy Tom Evans for getting me through this month. I only hope in someway I am helping you to get through it too.
Let’s have a drink when it’s all done.